"There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics." - Popularized by Mark Twain

And that about sums up current news culture. As the Democratic National Convention roars to life and the 28-hour news cycle scrambles to feed the beast, this phrase keeps coming back to me. Every ounce of cautious optimism that Obama represents - in the face of staggeringly inept campaigning by McCain - is tempered by the nagging suspicion that this is not a done deal. Because taken as a whole, the American people are not to be trusted with voting. When given the chance to elect the possibility of progress and change, or stunning, callous ineptitude masquerading as Real America, it's entirely likely the voting public will listen to manipulative commercials, Fox News, and talking heads with agendas.   

I know this, because George W. Bush was elected twice.  

In times like this, I turn to two fictional examinations of modern politics and government. But tonight I'm not in the mood for the soothing liberal-idealism porn that was "The West Wing."

Tonight I want rage. Which is when Warren Ellis and Darick Robertson's masterful "Transmetropolitan" comes in handy. So I offer this, taken from a PSA by Ellis's muck-raking sci-fi journalist Spider Jerusalem:

"You want to know about voting. I'm here to tell you about voting.

Imagine you're locked in a huge underground nightclub filled with sinners, whores, freaks and unnameable things that rape pit bulls for fun. And you ain't allowed out until you all vote on what you're going to do tonight. 

You like to put your feet up and watch "Republican Party Reservation". They like to have sex with normal people using knives, guns and brand-new sexual organs that you did not know existed.

So you vote for television, and everyone else, as far as the eye can see, votes to fuck you with switchblades.

That's voting.

You're welcome."

Sleep tight, kids.